What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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