Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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