Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

karn chevalier

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What city likes baseball the most? New York

thumb_up thumb_down +19

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops