What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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