Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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12 in general

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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I love pissing people off :P

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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