Chuck Norris.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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