Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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