A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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