A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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