On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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