How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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