How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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A man walks into a vagina

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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