How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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