Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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What would u like to drink?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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