Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops