How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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A young baby died.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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