what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Niall Horan

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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