Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Actually it was me Josh brown

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sarah Palin's political campaign

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops