Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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