what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops