Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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I'm tired.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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