This is not a joke.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Your mom is so old she died

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Potassium? K.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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