- Anti Joke

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

rarw

What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.