What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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This isn't funny.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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