Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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no

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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1+1=2

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops