Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Obama lin Baden.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops