If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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