Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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How about that airline food?

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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read this sentence again.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops