A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops