If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

why did the black guy die? cancer

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

In soviet Russia...things are different

What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

XD Jackass.

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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