Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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