Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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