- Anti Joke

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

69...you know how awkward this is now...

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

You're so sweet I have diabetes