What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Communism hehe xd

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops