Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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What's up? Your time.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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