How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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