How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black person dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops