There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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taking out the trash... at night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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