What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

Detroit has a low crime rate

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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