What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Granny porn!

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops