a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Chris is hairy

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Hi there! As the Director of Anti-Joke, I would like to thank the users for their contributions so far. We are currently raising money in order to gradually end our dependence on advertisements for revenue. Your participation is so important to us, and in order to continue our service we request a minimum donation of $100 for continued use of the Anti-Joke website. Please submit your payment by the end of November 2012. All major credit cards are accepted, as is PayPal. Thank you again for your cooperation and understanding as we grow in our services.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I don't know what to do! One day I'm a wig wam, the other day I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee again!" The doctor sighs and replies,"Sir, we've been over this. You have stage four periodic cancer."

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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