The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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