An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops