How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops