What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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