A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops