A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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