A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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I read the terms of service.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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What's up? Your time.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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