What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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T u r n i p s

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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