Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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