There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

pull my finger (farts)

What does two plus two equal? 4

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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