A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops