there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

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One, two, three, four and five

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops