What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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