Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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