what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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