Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops