What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Your mother is average.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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